These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Five years ago today I posted my very first Blogger entry!
Friday, February 28, 2003
this is a test to see if this works
posted by Charity at 2/28/2003 02:18:00 PM
Wow... 5 years is a LONG time! A lot has happened in my life in the last 5 years. I've always been a person that writes in journals. I have kept all my journals throughout the years. I believe the earliest is when I was in 6th grade. I was encouraged to journal because as a child I had a hard time writing my thoughts out. What can I say? Ever since, I've been addicted to the therapeutic effect of expressing my thoughts. Why I chose to use a public medium 5 years ago is still a mystery. I've never been a very private person but I know a lot of people that just don't understand why I express myself for the world to see (and to even criticize). And I really don't have a good reason other then just enjoying expressing myself and sharing bits and pieces of my life for anyone to see. I still have a personal private journal I write in for those moments I just don't feel like sharing with the world.
Anyways, yay for blogging on Blogger for 5 years! Now back to work...
So some of you have been asking about the pictures I took of Brandie and her pregnant belly. I wasn't sure how I felt about doing this photoshoot. Brandie and I have been dear friends for years, but some of her choices have caused a strain on our friendship. But in the end I love her no matter what. I want to see her happy and well she's very happy and that's all that matters to me!
The cool part is Brandie called me tonight and told me that when her mom went to Costco to print some of the shots I took, they gave her a hard time and said she isn't allowed to print professional shots without written consent from the photographer! Ok so I know the employee at Costco isn't the best judge of quality but hey! They thought my work was the work of a professional! That made me feel really good. :)
Here are a couple of my favorites. Let me know what you think.
So I pull into my driveway this evening and was finishing up a conversation with my mom when I noticed my brothers flashers flipping on and off like someone was playing with his truck alarm remote. I looked back and saw no one coming out of the house. By the time I got out of my car I noticed not only were his truck flashers flashing but his friend Eirik’s truck was doing the same thing. I wasn’t sure what to think but I have grocery bags in hand and come walking up to the front door. I turn the corner and see Brian and Eirik pressed up against the wall chuckling at their cleverness. And I couldn’t help but smile. It was almost cute. Actually, it was absolutely adorable! As I put away my groceries I was thinking about how childlike they looked as I turned that corner. I could almost see their junior selves playing a joke on their little sister waiting for her to come around the corner, giggling standing close to the wall not to be seen. Take away the beer and cigarette Eirik had in his hands and it would have been a classic Norman Rockwell scene. But honestly I think that’s what made it all that much more adorable. It reminded me of the fact that boys will always be boys and it brought a huge smile to my face.
Life has been good. Kept extremely busy with events as well as fulfilling some goals I’ve set for myself. After my busy extended weekend I went back to work. This week has been just as busy as last, if not more so because we’ve experienced more technical issues then usual. I enjoy staying busy. I feel so much more productive when I have a lot of stuff to do then when I have minor tasks.
Anyways, I’ve enjoyed waking up early and spending some time taking pleasure in the start of my day rather then rushing around frantic to be out of the house by 8. I spent one morning watching the sunrise in one of the new patio chairs I bought. I read my bible and wrote in my prayer journal. The next morning I decided I really wanted to go for a morning walk. It was sprinkling but it still felt awesome to get out and walk a mile before work. I take lunch walks but it’s just a half a mile and it’s really just to get out of the office and get some fresh air. Speaking of which, I’m going to go do a bit of a workout before bed.
So I’ll leave you with a couple of the pictures I took of the lunar eclipse yesterday. Click on the image to see the larger view.
Valentines Day - I had a very nice Valentines Day! I wasn't expecting much. I was looking forward to a work potluck and that's about it. But the whole day was full of little surprises, a bunch of text messages and calls from everyone wishing me a Happy V Day. I got to work and my dad had dropped off a gift from him and my mom, a cute little plant.
And with the potluck it felt like it was a Friday. Potlucks tend to make for a relaxed atmosphere around the office. I, of course, took pictures and everyone moaned and groaned. But it was a good time. The whole day was a lot of fun and everyone was in good spirits.
After work I planned on heading home to veg but Russ called when I was leaving work and invited me over to have dinner at his place and watch a movie. It was a pleasant surprise and the traffic wasn't bad. And it was nice to do something outside of just going home. He even had a gift for me! Not that it was a valentine’s gift but something he had bought for me but never got a chance to give me, a cool Harry Potter movie poster. It was really sweet. And I was very glad I went.
Later that night I got a text from Peter, who had been texting me throughout the day, asking if any of my valentines surprised me. I'm thinkin... What valentines? hehe So he sent me this picture with this caption. Awh... Too sweet!
So its only a pic, but now u cant say u didnt get flowers today (from a guy other then family)hehe
I wasn’t sure what to expect for Valentines Day. I’ve never been really big on it, even when I was dating someone. But the day was filled with great surprises and I couldn’t have asked for anything more! It was a great day all around. I really do have some awesome friends.
My Weekend - Tonight I went to Sheila's birthday party. I was drained from the week and today was a hectic day at work, especially considering it was Friday (usually I'm twiddling my thumbs but not today)! I guess it's a Friday before an extended weekend so I really wanted to have stuff done for when I return to work Tuesday.
Tomorrow I plan on sleeping in and I need to make a run to the store to pick up some necessities and I plan on cleaning ALL weekend! Rachel's stepson is turning 13 and they are having a big coming of age party for him in the early evening. Sunday I don't have any plans other then more cleaning. Monday I plan on finishing up my cleaning and that evening I have a bridal shower to go to for Rashaell. And then it'll be back to the grind.
So my site was down for a day. Not sure what happened as I never got a reply to my email I sent to the webmaster. Either way I really just need to get my site transferred over to 1and1.com but I've just been dragging my feet to get it done. I know my site will be down for a bit and I'd have to upload the entire thing to the new server and that's not an easy task... My site is quite extensive with all the pictures I post.
My last entry I mentioned posting a couple of the random pictures I've taken recently... Here they are
Odd perspective of my nephew Bailey in my back seat
Bailey trying to duck the camera
Just a pretty view on my lunch walk in Ontario
Just liked the sign
Closeup
3 faves - lines, texture and perspective (the coloring is cool too)
I had a fantastic time in Santa Monica with my friends Andie, Rachel and Tom! I really needed it! I got away from the every day drama. The weather was absolutely gorgeous! And there was nothing in particular that happened to make it special but it was a memorable day.
Here are a few of my favorite pics...
Architecture is great for lines
I actually liked the richness of the colors in this shot
Sunsets are always amazing
I loved the mist in this shot
Carousel on crack! hehe
Sweet moment between Rach and Tom
The next shot
Real mature guys! hehe Ok so I made you do it hehe
Awh... I love my friends
Tom suggested they pose "mad sexy"
Laughing about their "mad sexy" skillz
Great pic of us girls, go Tom!
Rach took this pic, I liked how it turned out
My best friend turned 30 today... Happy Birthday Rach!
Rach and I got on the subject of how amazing love actually is, that people can truly love you, even with all your faults. I think lately I’ve seen a lot of relationships that aren’t based on love but rather convenience or a need. I admire Rachel's marriage. It's had its rough times but it's only gotten stronger because they chose to make it work. And looking at their relationship now, it was so worth making that effort! So many people think love is only a feeling but it's also a decision!
I find it fascinating to see the different dynamics that cause people to be drawn to one another. Sure physical attraction is involved but there is so much more! I’ve always enjoyed hearing how people get together. In my recent dating history I've met a lot of different personalities and realized some traits I don't think I could live with, and some traits that I really admire and am drawn to. One being: independence. It really bothers me when a guy can't be alone for any length of time. Possibly because I am fairly independent myself and would hope to find someone that I could spend time with but also have my independence. A needy guy just wouldn't do that. Also I tend to view a guy who can’t be alone as someone who doesn’t know who he truly is, and requires a relationship to define him. I say this referring to guys but it works both ways, I feel the same about women that can’t be alone. Yet there are some guys I've talked to that really like a girl to be a little needy and dependent. I’m not saying I don’t have my needy moments. Insecurities bring out the worst kind of neediness in me. But with some of the serious self evaluation I’ve done over the last year and a half, I’ve come to realize quite a bit about myself and truly feel that my next relationship will be nothing like the others because of the changes deep inside.
I know I’m beautiful. Sure, my body isn’t what I would like it to be, but it’s not like I’m not doing anything to change that. I’ve come to appreciate what I look like. It took a long time to get over the seriously warped view I had of myself in high school. I still sometimes see that ugly reflection when I look in the mirror. It’s surprising how blind we can be to our own beauty.
So nothing too exciting is going on. I've been hanging out with friends, working on some graphic projects but not as consistently as last week. I'm looking forward to my weekend plans. I've also been taking my little point-and-shoot camera with me everywhere I go and find it fun to just take some random artistic shots. I may repost this with a couple of the pics attached.
I was chatting with my friend who just broke up with his girlfriend officially after going back and forth and he reminded me of how happy I am that I am not a needy person. Or maybe I should rephrase that... I'm happy that I'm an independent person. I don't *need* to be in a relationship to be happy. Sure I'd love to meet someone and have a relationship but I'm by no means desperate for that. Though ironically, last night I struggled with some loneliness. Maybe it's that Valentines Day is right around the corner, which has never affected me that much before so I highly doubt that’s it. I think it's that there is a desire for companionship and the male friendships I have in my life aren’t enough to make up for the lack of it. I pulled back from dating for a reason, I was tired of it. I don't really feel like dating for the sake of dating. And the loneliness hits for a short time. It started last night and was gone this afternoon. I was discussing my feelings with Jason, my self-appointed life coach (hehe), and he pointed out some things that may be impacting my ability to define what it is I truly want. I always like getting an objective opinion.
Being Creative - I've had a very creative week. I've spent most of my evenings working on graphics and logos for friends and family. I have a job updating (one of my brothers client's) Medeiros & Associates website to match their yellow pages ad. I helped Jason with a header graphic for his churches website and he also asked me to work on the logo for the place his girlfriend works since their current one was pretty outdated. Tonight Poet Sky was at my place practicing and Foe and I talked about me working on the bands "Our Alackaday Ways" album cover, possibly even adding some of my photography. I'm looking forward to it. I love Foe and Strav. They are like my extended family. Total cuties too!
Strav and Foe
Poet Sky - Strav, Foe and Brian
With all this graphic work it's made me motivated to get my own photography site up! I'm going to make it happen. It's felt good to get back into graphics. I forget how fun it is to see things come together from nothing. I'll make sure to link to my photography site when I get it updated.
So my last post about photography actually brought about some amazing stuff! Joel Eckman Maus read my blog! The best part is he said to let him know if I'd be interested in helping out at weddings!!! Um... YES!!! I'm so incredibly excited! I think it would be so amazing to watch him work. What better way to learn then to be an assistant to someone I admire and look up to!
Also along the same lines of creativity, Rachel and I went in together to make Brandie a diaper cake for her baby shower gift. Stephanie had showed me the idea at work and the moment I saw it I thought of doing it for Brandie's baby shower. It was a lot of fun to make and it got a lot of attention at the shower. It's a unique gift. Rachel and I have decided that from now on this will be our thing to bring for any baby shower we go to. Here are a couple pictures of it.
Before all the extras
After all the extras
Jaw troubles - My jaw on the left side is swollen and tender to the touch like it was Christmas Eve. Not sure if I ever explained what happened but Christmas Eve I went to work and my jaw hurt really bad and it was swollen so I thought I might have some kind of ear infection. I go to the doctor's and they tell me that it's not an ear infection and it must be that I'm clenching my jaw causing a form of TMJ, or grinding my teeth. I've never known myself to be a teeth grinder so the only thing I could think of is that I clench my jaw. My doctor said it is caused by stress. I think its a bit silly actually but I may very well be clenching my jaw without realizing it. Why only the one side? Anyways, just an annoying little tidbit I thought I’d share.
Random - I've been on a U2 kick. My brother got me the limited edition U2 iPod a couple Christmas's back. It came with the whole U2 collection. I've been listening to it on random almost every night this week and I'm still not through the whole thing!
This is a video I specifically looked up because of a conversation Joshua and I had at work. I figured I'd share since it's a great song and brings me back.
