These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.
Monday, July 27, 2009
So since my last post, life has been filled with non-stop adventures! Gotta love that right? But that means LOTS of pictures (as usual)! So I guess the first announcement might as well be the biggest…
Weight Loss – So I’ve lost a total of 27 pounds as of today! Better yet, I’m able to fit into jeans I haven’t been able to wear for over two years! I love it! Oh and I have lost a total of 27 inches all over! Yup, I feel great! I’m so close to my first goal! I’m proud of myself. And I have no desire to falter or cheat. Ok so there are those days but they haven’t happened in a while. I want to lose the weight at a healthy rate. And, I haven’t been working out as consistently as I would like to but I’m still very happy with my success!
In my last post I had to run off and didn’t finish explaining the wedding and the busiest day of the month last month.
6.19.09 Terrance & Holly’s Wedding - I can’t share the pictures of the wedding because I haven’t given them to the bride and groom yet. I’m waiting on them for something so I don’t like sharing until they have access to them first. So it should be sometime next week.
6.20.09 Toni Michels Funeral – Well there is nothing good about funerals. I will say it felt like a reunion of the old Aspen Street Crew, though I wish it was under different circumstances. Toni had a big impact on my youth. It’s hard to imagine I won’t see her, on this earth at least. Steve had written his thoughts out because he knew he wouldn’t be able to make it through talking about it. His brother read it for him. The one statement that stood out to me is that every time he goes to bed and wakes up he will feel the sorrow of her loss the most… Wow! How true and real is that? I went to school with Shawn and I got teary a lot during his talk, but it wasn’t until his oldest daughter got up to speak that the tears flowed. She talked about how her Nana always said she loved her more then the universe and broke down in the middle and Shawn had to finish for her. It was so tender... She ended it saying "Nana, I love you more then the universe". Yeah, not a dry eye in the place.
She passed away from Breast Cancer so the entire family wore pink of some sort which I thought was fitting. The women wore brown dresses with pink ribbons in the pattern. The guys wore black shirts with pink pin stripes and pink ties with a breast cancer sweat band on their forearm. All the grandkids wore pink of some sort as well.
After the service I got a chance to talk to the family and it was an emotional morning. Toni will be missed.
6.20.09 Sasha's Going Away Party - I left there and had to rush to get lunch and head down to Sasha’s going away party in Yucaipa. Here are a couple of my favorite shots. It was a nice time. I didn’t get to hang out with Sasha that much but it’s always so relaxing at the Clements’s home.
6.20.09 and Poet Sky @ Old Towne Pub Pasadena – I made my way out to Pasadena to make sure I would get there in time. The drive was relaxing. I was looking forward to the show and the venue has so much character I was looking forward to taking more pictures there again. I had a great time that night! Poet Sky was on fire! Their last show at this venue was a bit of a disappointment for them but this one I think more then made up for it. And it was a late night!
6.29.09 Laguna – My sister and I had an appointment in Irvine again. And since we were both going down together for once, we decided to spend the afternoon at our favorite beach afterwards. I love Laguna! I found it difficult to just sit and relax. I wanted to be exploring, taking pictures or walking around. Heidi on the other hand enjoyed reading and lying on the beach.
I posted a status update on Facebook and a friend called me and had a recommendation for where we should eat for lunch, Sun Dried Tomato. I was laughing but he took care of everything! Made the reservation and even suggested what we were to eat and where to sit while we were there. And we got there and decided against outdoor seating only because it had gotten chilly and we also decided against his food recommendations because of the day’s specials. It was yummy! All-in-all a great day!
7.1.09 Monthly Worship Concert – My church, The Place, is putting on monthly concerts the first Wednesday of every month. This was our very first one and I am thrilled to say it was a success! We even had a hotdog cookout because it was so close to the 4th of July. We had a great time! I’m looking forward to the next one!
7.4.09 4th of July – I normally don’t get out to the fireworks but was happy to be able to this year. We met up with some family friends and I was impressed with the show.
7.10-12.09 Santa Cruz – My sister was hired to do makeup for a wedding up in Santa Cruz. They paid for the cost of her travel, her hotel room as well as paid for her time. Since I don’t have a lot going on, she asked if I wanted to join her. Of course I said yes! How cool is it to experience a trip up the coast at no cost to me other then food!? So, we decided to take the scenic route which was the 101 to the 1 since we were leaving Friday and had the time. It was such a great time with Heidi and I, we had so much fun being silly and listening to great music.
It was such a beautiful drive! I had a hard time not stopping every few minutes to take pictures!
Saturday was the day of the wedding and while Heidi started work on the bridesmaids I had made arrangements to meet up with my friend James. James and I have been friends for years (10+ easy)! He usually has to come down to Southern California for us to hang out so this time I was actually able to meet him up in his territory! We’d always ended up at Santa Monica Pier when he’d come down and he’d always say it was nothing like Santa Cruz Boardwalk. And sure enough he was right! I loved it there! We had a great time walking around, talking and catching up and of course me taking lots of pictures!
I got back in just enough time to get ready for the wedding that evening. James stuck around so that after the ceremony we went back to the boardwalk and then went to Downtown Santa Cruz and walked around. It was a great day.
Sunday we took the boring route back down the 5 Fwy because we were on a time crunch. My brother’s band, Poet Sky, was playing and we had decided to be the hard core fans and drive 5+ hours to go see their show in Pomona that night.
7.12.09 Poet Sky & AMP in Pomona – Before the show I wasn’t sure I had the energy to make it through but as usual once I start snapping pictures I was energized! The show was originally supposed to be in a bar but there was some confusion and luckily they were able to play out in a courtyard which I thought worked out better!
It was a long crazy weekend but nothing compared to what was coming the following weekend!
7.17.09 Camp Schultz Practice – Andy had asked me if I had time to go take pics of his band while they practiced for their show the next day. It was a short practice and early enough that I was able to stop by for about an hour and take some shots. I was pretty happy with how they turned out.
7.17.09 Club E (a Gothic Event) – My good friends Joe and Erica had put on a big Gothic party for Erica’s birthday. They wanted me to take pictures for it and were generous enough to pay me for my time. I had a great time shooting pictures and enjoying the nostalgia of my old wannabe Goth days just out of high school. It was a bit of a reunion as a lot of the people there were friends from that time.
7.18.09 Pasadena Photo Walk – The only bummer about my late night out was that I had already agreed to be in Pasadena the next morning at 7:30! Yeah I got like 2 hours of sleep, but I don’t often get out there and take artistic shots of random places. But that was the point of the event and I took advantage. Sadly we were all supposed to meet up after a couple of hours but the location they set wasn’t opened for another hour so everyone just kind of went their separate ways. I was looking forward to checking out what other people shot.
Anyways, we got done and with the lack of sleep and being out in the hot sun, I was definitely losing it. I needed sleep bad! I got home and took a nap for a few hours and had to get ready for my final shoot of the weekend.
My friend James had been the one to invite me to the event and we stayed close while taking our pictures through Old Town Pasadena. We plan on going back out on our own August 15th and we’re going to invite anyone who wants to go to join us. If you’re interested let me know.
7.18.09 Camp Schultz and others with CJ Ramone – So Andy and Chris were pretty excited about their show with CJ Ramone who was going to be playing all the old Ramones songs. My other friends, Voting with Bullets, were there as well so I knew a lot of people at the show.
At some point in the evening I lost all gumption. I believe it was the lack of sleep catching up with me because I got unreasonably moody. I struggled to even want to be there. I felt like I knew everyone but that there was no one there that I could hang out with. Everyone I knew was in the bands playing so they were too busy. By the time CJ Ramone came on I just wanted to leave. Mike from Camp Schultz convinced me to stay because when was I going to get a chance like this again? I was glad I did stay but I didn’t close out the event, I stayed for about half the set.
Job Hunt – So I had a pretty big let down this week. I interviewed for an Admin II position for the Pharmacy at Kaiser in Victorville on Monday. I felt good about the interview and sent out my thank you letter as soon as I got home. I found out Friday that they went with someone with Pharmacy experience, which makes sense but I was pretty down. She told me I did great in the interview and thought the thank you letter was definitely a nice touch (thanks Russ!).
I have another job I’m still waiting to hear back from but it’s been dragged out because of some issues beyond their control, so I’m not sure when that one will be confirmed one way or another.
So it’s taken me over a week to complete this post! Hopefully it won’t be this long before I can post again. I really need to start writing less or posting more often. Not sure.
How often have I started my blog posts with something like "Life is good"? And even though I have no job, struggling to even find places for me to apply to, I can honestly say life is good!
Though I find it difficult to understand why I don't update my blog more now that I don't have a job. The funny thing is, time flies for me now that I'm not working. Before I know it the day is over and I don't have much to show for it. I consider it a productive day when I get at least ONE item on my "To Do" list completed. But I will say this week I've gotten a couple items each day. It feels good to have completed items that have been on my list for the last 3 weeks!
There are a lot of changes going to be taking place in the next few months. I know this even without having a clue where my next job is going to be. I had an interview a couple weeks ago and honestly I'm quite hopeful. I was told I should hear something right about now so please keep praying.
God is doing a lot in my life right now. I feel closer to His call on my life then I ever have before. Or I should say more able to hear where He is directing me. It's been a long time since I've felt even somewhat close to Him. And I think there is a maturity with it that makes me more aware of even the minutest voice. I love it! I am not saying I'm where I need to be, far from it actually... But it just feels so good to have that closeness again.
I'm getting involved in ministry again. The Care Place is an umbrella organization for the church. My dad put it on the back burner for a few years and amazingly the people in the church have come together with their individual ministries which make up the entire mission statement of the original Care Place and some of these people didn't even know about The Care Place. So it's like God is opening the doors to start something big! I'm really excited! We have our first official meeting June 20th. But it looks like we'll be doing a worship once-a-month, hopefully starting a soup kitchen, making blankets for the people in the community, and lots more. But those are the things we feel we can start pretty much right away.
June Chaos - This month is going to be quite busy. But as I always say, I thrive on chaos. These are the events I have on my calendar as of right now.
June 2nd - Camp Schultz Live shoot Chris and Andy from Poet Sky are in another band called Camp Schultz and I went to take pictures of their show. They are quite good! I was definitely impressed and I'm not a big "punk" music fan. Here's a couple of my favorite pics from the night! June 4th - Lunch with Rachel and Rashaell for the latter's birthday. We hung out at Rashaell's for most of the afternoon. June 5th - Dinner and the movies with my friend Jeremy. We went to go see "My Life in Ruins" and I hadn't even seen the previews before he mentioned it. It was a cute movie.
June 6th - BootieLA with my friend Andie. Ok so I've had a lot of people ask me "Bootie whah!?". So go to this website, www.bootiela.com. Basically it's a club where the dj's do mashups all night long. The music is awesome! Everyone should experience it at least once! But if you can't make it to the club then download the Best Of mp3's they have on their website. Best of Bootie 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008. I think 2006 is my favorite. Anyways it was so fun dancing and letting loose. It was their 4th anniversary in LA. I missed having Russ there, because he's the one who introduced me to it. But I still had a blast and can't wait to go again! Hopefully Russ can join us next time. ;) Oh and my sister did my hair and makeup. I had fake lashes on and everything. :) You can see the progression of how the hair and makeup held up with all that dancing around and sweating! lol June 7th - My parents 40th Wedding Anniversary!!! Talk about setting a great example for me. :) They went up to Big Bear for the weekend so I didn't have to do anything for them but it's still a definitive landmark!
June 10th - Operation Blankets Some of the ladies from the church put together some of those easy fleece blankets for the needy children in the community. We're going to be getting together once-a-month to make them.
For the rest of the month:
June 13th - Jam Bernardino to check out my friend Jimi perform a short acoustic set.
June 15th - Disneyland!!! I'm sneaking in one last Disneyland trip before my blockout dates start. Linda has asked me to go with them a few times and every time she asks I was busy doing stuff. So this time I'm hopeful it will work out. :)
June 18th - Rehearsal Dinner shoot. The couple wants me to come to the rehearsal dinner and take pics of them. They want these pics ready and printed the next day so I'll shoot, go home, play and send them to the bride Holly so she can get pics printed for the wedding.
June 19th - Terrance and Holly Wedding Shoot The wedding is in the evening at Edward's Mansion! I've been there one other time for my friends wedding and it's a beautiful place. I'm looking forward to how the pictures are going to turn out. :)
June 20th - Busiest Day of the Month! In the morning I have the first official meeting of The Care Place which I'm running for the office of the Secretary. That afternoon at 4pm I am going to Yucaipa for a Going Away Party for my good friend Sasha. It's a bittersweet thing because I'm sad she's going but happy for her achievements and she's following her dreams. I then have to be in Pasadena at 9pm for a Poet Sky show at the Old Towne Pub. It'll be a lot of driving that's for sure.
June 26th - Jr and Brandie's Wedding Shoot They are getting married in San Diego in the morning and the place looks very pretty. This is a small wedding. They will be having an intimate beach lunch as their reception. I love the beach and taking pics should be a lot of fun!
June 29th - Irvine then Laguna Beach with Heidi. Heidi and I are going down to Irvine for an appointment and we both like to go to the beach afterwards. :) I usually go alone so it'll be nice to spend time with my sis.
Toni Michels Funeral - A good friend of mine, Toni Michels, lost her battle with cancer. She passed away on Wednesday. I know she's in a better place and out of pain but it's hit me quite hard how big of an impact she's had on my life. She was such a good listener. And to be quite honest I've been avoiding thinking about her death because I had felt the need to call her for the last couple of weeks. Every time I would think to get my phone and get her number something came up. Right now I regret that more then anything! (sigh) :( They had moved and I lost touch. The funeral is in California sometime in the next week or so.
Weight Loss - I've started focusing on weight loss again. I've been walking more regularly but now I'm sticking to a lifestyle change (I hate the word diet). I will admit the first two weeks are more like a jump start but I am determined, nervous and excited about it. I'm ready for the change. I'm ready to start feeling better and having more energy. So hopefully in the next two weeks I'll have significant weight loss.
I want to lose 32 pounds as my first initial goal. I know better then to set the big goal. I won't be weighing in again until next Monday.
So... I'm finally on the down side of a serious upper respiratory infection plus ear infections! It started Monday. This cold took me out! I kept hoping I'd move past it but by Thursday the pain was unbearable. I couldn't swallow and my ears felt like someone was cutting them with knives! I went to a clinic that my friend Tom works at since I didn't have insurance. I was told I had a temperature of 101. After the doctor saw my ears and throat he seemed very concerned that I would be around anyone because he said I was highly contagious. He was concerned mostly about anyone that lived with me. Of course my first thought was Brian who's already on Prednisone which breaks down his immune system! Anyways, I got a shot of antibiotics in the keister and a 5 day dose of pills. I went home hoping for the best. I made sure to stay in my room and got a can of Lysol to spray around anywhere I was so I wouldn't spread it. My dad and mom had come over and anointed me with oil and prayed over me.
After a very restless night of sleep, and serious pain I woke up physically drained from everything and broke down. I was scared. The pain hadn't gotten better but worse! I thought maybe it was because the antibiotics were fighting the infection. But I didn't think I could handle the pain any longer. I literally cried to God to take it away. I forced myself to take a shower and a steam bath, I took my morning antibiotics and consulted with Tom and my family who all thought it might be time to go to the ER. I decided to wait until Tom could consult with the Doctor who saw me the night before. Within the next couple of hours, about 10am, my body started to feel better. My ears were no longer on fire but felt like they were filled with water. My throat was bearable. I could swallow without feeling like someone was stabbing my throat.
I'm not 100% or even 75% but the pain has reduced so much that I feel so thankful! I can't talk much because when I do I still go into coughing fits which still can be somewhat painful. My chest is still tight. My throat is sore. My ears are achy but not bad. But I can deal with this pain so much more then the pain in the last few days! I’m so thankful!
The below was written earlier in the week...
Dear Lord, will this cold ever go away!? I was actually pretty sick for about two weeks a short time ago. Then Sunday night I had a migraine that wouldn't quit and I wake up Monday to yet another nasty cold! This BITES! I'm totally achy and exhausted. I've slept most of the day away. I was so energized last week too! I was non-stop all week! I stuck to my daily routine and accomplished all sorts of things with my week. I guess I might have pushed myself too hard. Either way, I'm tired of being sick and not sure why my immune system is not fighting these colds off very well.
So in the last month I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. I am dealing with unemployment better then last time but it is seriously difficult to deal with the emotional toll it takes on a person. I know I'm not the only one out there that struggles staying positive and even motivated! It hasn't help that I've been sick!
Since I'm not feeling so hot, I won't really go into much explanation. I'll let the pictures do most of the talking.
4/13/09 - Easter - I went over to my parents after church and enjoyed a good home cooked meal. We hung out and talked which was nice. And I stayed later then expected to watch the movie "Mama Mia" which wasn't that bad. I'm a big fan of Colin Firth and was impressed with Meryl Streep's energy for the film at her age. I didn't take too many pictures that day. Here's one of me and my sister, and my mom and Bailey at church.
4/14/09 - Movie Screening - So my good friend Sasha decided to take me out to the movie screening of "How To Be" down in Santa Monica. I wasn't sure what to expect but it ended up being a cool film. The best part was afterwards when they have a Q&A session with the director Oliver Irving and one of the actors in the film who wrote all the music, Joe Hastings I believe. It was interesting to hear how he came up with the idea for the film and how he got it where it was. After that they were in the lobby and we were able to talk to them one on one. We didn't stay long enough to do too much of that. Sasha did ask Joe Hastings a question. All in all it was a very interesting experience and I would definitely recommend seeing the film!
And I stumbled across this video of the screening I went to checking out the movie website. I'm not going to make an effort to point me out in the crowd but I can see me. lol
Since we knew it would be a late night, Sasha offered to let me sleep in the spare room, which worked out rather conveniently because I was meeting some of the old Alliance crew for lunch the next day.
4/15/09 - Wahoo's Lunch - It was a last minute plan to meet everyone so the crowd was smaller then we'd hoped. I'm hoping to plan another one in May so more people can come.
4/16/09 - Andie's going away party - I met Andie and some of her work friends Thursday night for her going away party. It was quite entertaining to watch them. We ended the night at a dance club. I was disappointed in the music and it made me realize how awesome BootieLA is and how I desperately need to get back there! Anyways, they are a fun group of people and I had a good time hanging out with them.
4/18/09 - Bailey's Game - It's not often that I get to go to my niece and nephew's games but I made a point to go and realized it was a great opportunity to get some pictures. And I got some great shots of Bailey. :) He's a lefty so he throws off the pitcher. Anyways, isn't he a cutie?!
Anyways, that's all of an update I can give for now...
So I'm surviving on only 3 ½ to 4 hours of sleep. I got home at 4am and got out of bed for church at 8am. But I had an absolute blast last night at the Poet Sky show at the Old Towne Pub in Pasadena! I will definitely share pictures. There is just too much to share before I go into that! :) And there will be things I skip, a lot has been going on!
Possible New Job - I guess now is as good a time as any to share the possibility of a new job. I didn't want to share until I knew it was more certain and sadly it's still very up-in-the-air. I applied for a job out in Pasadena about the end of last month. A friend of mine had the owners email address so I sent over my resume' not knowing what would come of it. After a few communications and a very successful interview I was confident of being offered a job. So what's the issue? I was told during one of our conversations prior to interviewing that they only had one concern, they didn't like my commute and that if the position was offered, they would expect me to move to Pasadena!
I wish I could be more excited but there is so much I'm still waiting on. I got an email from the owner last week stating that they are planning on hiring me (yay me), but that it was just a timing issue at this point. They would hire me to head out a new department and they have a lot of logistics to work through in getting that department set up. Now, you would think I would be ecstatic but there is still so much to consider. Even if I was offered a position it doesn't mean I will take the job. I have no idea what they are willing to give in compensation. The cost of living in Pasadena is significantly different then living in Apple Valley.
But I have to say this... when they first approached me about the position I was thrilled with the idea of moving to Pasadena. I immediately looked up cost of rent in the general area, talked with my brother about moving out there together, and started getting SUPER excited about the idea of such a minor yet drastic change in my life. I've always loved Pasadena! I would go out there just to visit and get away. Even my family took the news of the idea of me moving really well! But then I reached the bottom line I started to get concerned that the salary offered wouldn't be enough to make the move feasible.
So at this point, my future is in a bit of limbo. I know what I'm going to ask for salary-wise and if it's God's will then what they are willing to pay will match or be reasonable enough that I could work with it. My friend James is concerned I'm going to settle for less then reasonable and to be honest I'm slightly concerned about doing the same thing myself just because I love the idea of moving to Pasadena so much. I don't want to put all my hope in this job and have it not be a viable solution to me needing a job, and not just a job but one that I believe I would enjoy utterly and completely!
I have had to keep handing it over to God. I keep trying to take it and figure it out. And to be honest there are too many coincidences for me not to see His hand in this. So if it is what God has planned then no matter how much thought I put into trying to figure it out, it doesn't make any impact on the final outcome. I also have to realize that if it's NOT God's will then I can't be too disappointed (which in all honesty I would be).
Goals and Plans - So I have decided (along with continually handing the Pasadena job back over to God) I will keep up the search for work (which can be pretty depressing), and keep going on with life as my unemployed self has been. I have a lot of goals and projects I want to work on and I will say with the concept of being unemployed, I have been a bit of a slacker in doing anything truly productive in a search for a job, or completing projects I have around the house. But the last couple of days and even confirmed in the message at church today, I feel the conviction of getting over this lazy mentality. I'm done procrastinating. I'm going to set goals, make plans and keep a normal routine. I'm not going to put things off any more. I'm going to start getting up a little earlier then I have been, walk, do my devotions, look for work and by then it should be lunch time! So I should have plenty of time to get projects going in the afternoon. Even my brother has plenty of webpage side projects he’s gotten from clients. Now that I’m not working I can complete them quicker then when I’m stuck working nights or weekends on them.
Elaina’s Adoption! 6/11/09 – So Rachel and Tom’s adoption of Rosie finalized FINALLY! It’s been 4 long years and I’m sooo happy for them! I wasn’t going to miss being there for anything! I took some pictures and the whole thing was pretty awesome!
Visiting with D'Arcy 3/16/09 - Facebook has connected me with a lot of my friends from when I lived and went to school in Alaska. One of those friends being D'Arcy who updated her status one day to say she was enjoying her sister’s bakery in California! D’Arcy lives on the East Coast so I immediately asked where she was and we made plans for me to drive down to where she was staying so we could visit! It was awesome chatting about the last 15 years of our lives. I got down there at about 1pm and didn't leave until after 8pm.
Here is a pic of us I believe in 1992 (poor quality) and below that the current picture of us!
Poet Sky at the Old Town Pub in Pasadena 3/21/09 – So I had been looking forward to this show since I was told about it! At least I was until the day arrived. I started my period and was in the general funk of pmsing. I was looking forward to getting out, dressing up and having a night out on the town (a town in which I hope to be working soon)! Yes, I’m sure this is tmi but I was bloated and felt pretty miserable about the idea of going out. The last show I struggled with emotionally for some reason and the fear of that repeating was severe. Luckily I talked to my mom and my sister and all was well! I felt cute despite my monthly nuisance.
I was finally hopeful again that a night out with my brother and sister could be good fun. My friend Brandie’s friends flaked on her last minute and we had an extra spot in our car so we decided to take her along with us. We got there and were early enough to stop off at a small pizzeria for dinner near the pub. It was great. I enjoyed the atmosphere of a Saturday night in Old Town Pasadena! When we arrived at the pub things didn’t change. There was a very cool atmosphere and attitude of everyone that night. I had a blast talking and hanging out. I was enjoying myself the ENTIRE night. The only bummer was that Poet Sky was supposed to go on at 11pm and didn’t end up playing until 1am! And not only that their set was cut short. LAME! Anyways, without further ado, here are some of my favorite pictures! If you want to see more you’ll have to be a friend on facebook or myspace.
She stared at the office door… Took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face before swiping her security badge. She chuckled to herself at the pathetic attempt to fake enthusiasm and almost couldn’t bring herself to push the door open. Another deep breath as the door swung open into “hell“. Immediately she felt the stare, more like glare, of her supervisor. Attempting a smile which turned out to be more like a smirk, said good morning, suddenly regretting the decision to come into work a little late since she stayed so late the night before. There was tension in the air. Chaos really. The busy hum of everyone running around frantic. She tried to listen to the conversations of her coworkers, to see if she could make out what all was going on. Finally she stopped one of them to ask them what happened only to find out everyone had been called in early to help with the “situation“…
This is what happened when I walked into work Friday morning. In fact, I was having such a rough morning on the way into work I put in worship music to try to help my attitude. Looking back I think it was God’s way of preparing me for what lied ahead.
I struggled to give over my heart to Him as I worshipped on the way to work. I listened to the words of the worship songs and hoped that my attitude would truly reflect the words that were sung. I finally stopped and asked just that, to change my heart, I knew it was a decision, and it took action. I tried smiling, sure it was strained but eventually it would turn into a genuine smile, it had to. I pulled into my parking spot at work and leaned my head back against my seat staring at the roof of my car. A song then came on… “Draw Me Close to You”
Draw me close to you Never let me go I lay it all down again To hear you say that I'm your friend
Help me find a way to bring me back to you
[Chorus:] You're all I want, You're all I've ever needed You're all I want, Help me know you are near
You are my desire No one else will do Cause no one else Can take you place To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find a way to bring me back to you
[Chorus:] You're all I want, You're all I've ever needed You're all I want, Help me know you are near
Phrases like “ help me find a way to bring me back to you”, “ Help me know you are near”, “you are my desire” all were truth. I waited till the song was over before getting out of my car. I took a deep breath and said to myself that I could do it, I’d make it through the day, that things wouldn’t always stay like this at work… This is all before the description of what took place in the first paragraph! Tell me that wasn’t designed by God. Can you imagine if I hadn’t taken the time to cry out to God, how I would have handled walking into hell that morning? As it was I was almost immediately overwhelmed by the wave of tension that hit me when the door to my office opened. The phrase “help me know that you are near” repeated in my mind as I walked to my desk to face whatever catastrophe that we were faced with at work. For a moment I questioned God but almost moments after the questions I realized that He had given me strength to face this day.
I had a payroll training class to conduct. It was a special request from a new merchant to be trained on Friday rather then the normal days payroll training is done. I was concerned it would have to be cancelled with all the chaos but my supervisor expected me to go ahead as planned. I felt bad but the glare I had received earlier had softened. My supervisor hadn’t gone home from the day before. After the shock of learning the events that took place to cause the confusion and chaos in the office I was told I wasn’t called to come in early just because of how far away I live and they knew I would be there eventually. I felt horrible but luckily was not made to feel it by anyone in the office.
I was given a huge blessing, I was able to walk away from the chaos, shut myself into the conference room to conduct the training class for two hours with three of the brightest, friendliest people I’ve ever had to work with in training! I felt Gods hand in everything I dealt with throughout the day in the same magnitude. My coworkers complained of dealing with rude, aggressive merchants out for blood. And everyone I worked with, even in regards to the drama were all very pleasant and understanding. I couldn’t help but *know* He was near.
Big Mouth Strikes Again - So I just got home from a nice evening out with a couple of my coworkers. It was a lot of fun and yet I left feeling like the title of this blog… “Big Mouth Strikes Again” Why oh why couldn’t I be the quiet type? Keep my mouth shut at the appropriate times. I just got done reading Pride & Prejudice again (great book!) and this morning I thought to myself… Am I Lydia Bennett the foolish, flirty younger sister, or am I Elizabeth Bennett the endearing, good humored girl that everyone likes? I have decided I’m a bit of both… But there are times, like tonight, where I feel solely like Lydia.
Anyways, I left tonight frustrated that I said too much. And oddly one of the people I was with is a self proclaimed big mouth as well. He said some things that made me annoyed with myself. Something came out of my mouth and as soon as it did I realized, oh crap, why did I say that? Why did I just confess that out loud to these two people? Part of me doesn’t have an issue with honesty. I have learned to deal with personal matters head on, specifically back in elementary school when I was forced to address a situation face to face rather then try to pretend that it didn’t exist. I believe the outcome to this one particular past event made me handle most awkward moments with honesty, especially when it comes to my feelings of romantic interests. Maybe a bit more honesty then is healthy to profess. And in most moments I realize, some people respect forbearance, people who can keep their secrets to themselves, and there are others that admire openness and vulnerability. I have noticed I admire people who can keep thoughts to themselves. I guess part of me longs to be that way myself. Another part knows that’s just not who I am. And if people have an issue with it, that’s there problem.
I’m afraid of giving the impression that the people I was with tonight made me feel guilty for being open. This is not the case. I just sometimes am more sensitive to my big mouth. I regret saying some of the things I said. In regards to myself I mostly do not mind, it was in regards to someone else that the guilt festers. Maybe that’s my biggest issue. I shared some things that I probably shouldn’t have taken the liberty of sharing. Alas, what’s done is done. What’s said has been said.
Blah!
I sometimes wonder what my friends think of me. Do they overlook my sometimes poor decorum? Do they think, ah that’s just Charity running with her mouth again? (Dear Lord, I hope with everything in me that has never been thought or said of me, but sadly I cannot say there is no chance that it has or will be.) I guess they wouldn’t be very good friends if they didn’t overlook my flaws. I love my friends, poor judgments and all! I sometimes wonder if my boisterous personality is part of the reason I have yet to stay in a relationship for very long. Is that honesty and openness not enough of a challenge for them that they lose interest so easily? I’m not much of a mystery. I envy those people who aren’t an open book like I tend to be. Anyways lets not make this about boys, these are just some of my thoughts.
More whining about sickness - I am tired. I’m ready for bed. Last night was a long night! I haven’t been feeling very well the last couple of weeks, as my blogs have confessed. I’m actually very tired of being sick. This weekend was no exception. I was still fighting my cold. I found myself dragging Saturday morning. My stomach touchy that night when I went out to dinner with some of the old linkLINE crew. It was so awesome to hang out with those guys again! (random blurb)I will say this for linkLINE, some really good friendships came out of it. I was hesitant to become friends with anyone at Alliance for the longest time because of the pain of losing my job at linkLINE. But since have discovered some great friends at Alliance as well. Though I’m not sure if the friendships are such that if I were to lose my job tomorrow we’d still get together. But who really knows until it happens right? (/random blurb)
Anyways, Sunday after church I really just wasn’t feeling up to par. I laid in bed most of the day reading. That evening though my stomach decided it wasn’t happy with me. I knew something was wrong and sure enough maybe a half an hour later … I threw up. I haven’t thrown up like that since my elementary school years! It was crazy. Yes, I’m aware this is probably TMI. I just couldn’t believe it. It was funny I actually looked up from the sink and was cognizant of the fact that my face really did look green.
My eyes are closing on me. Guess that’s a good sign it’s time to crawl into bed.
Being sick blows! I've lost my voice. It started yesterday morning and kept getting worse. This morning I was like a squeaker that lost its squeak randomly when you squeezed it. It's crazy. Everyone I talk to is surprised by how bad I sound. I felt like crap this morning. I was up getting ready for work. I had an early morning Payroll Training class that I was supposed to conduct. With my voice I knew there was no way I was going to be able to do it. I thought I'd try to at least go to work. But after getting ready I thought for sure I was going to pass out. It sucks! I slept for a few hours and am feeling better but my voice is still not functioning. I'm surprised every time I try and talk at the sound, or lack there of, coming out of my mouth.
Anyways, I'm bored to death. I don't have enough energy to do anything productive. I've watched everything I could want to watch and then some. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I figured I could finally blog an update on what's going on in my life. But thinking about it, lately it's been work and being sick. Nothing else is really going on. I bought the Twilight series and had it delivered to my work and sadly they arrived yesterday after I left. Right now, a good book sounds like a nice distraction. The weather is nice and cloudy. Perfect for curling up on the couch with a good book. I guess I can go find something in my library to pick up again. I've been in the mood to reread Pride & Prejudice. I guess I can start that.
I've been on kind of a downer with my photography since I dropped my camera at the OURS show in December. My camera has worked ok ever since but there are obvious signs something’s wrong. And since I can't really afford to buy a whole new camera I've been avoiding taking it in to see what the real damage is. I know if I go and find that its just the lens then I would be thrilled. But when something makes me scared I tend to procrastinate until I can't procrastinate anymore. The bummer is, I would never feel comfortable taking my camera out on a paying shoot. So I need to take care of it.
Anyways, I'm going to go enjoy some quiet time. Hopefully my voice will be back for work tomorrow.
This so isn't fair... I was sick... goodness, like a week or two ago and this morning I woke up to yet another cold! what da eff?! And I'm someone that rarely gets sick. What sucks is that it's been like 80 degrees down in Ontario all last week and it's like 20 degrees cooler up in the desert. Hmmm no wonder I'm sick. My body isn't able to adjust to the extremes. I don't look forward to driving down the pass tomorrow with an already stuffed up head. That's the worst! And to top off having a cold, I was totally nauseous all day! I have no idea why. I started to feel better when I got some food in me but my stomach has been touchy even through the evening. Bleh!
Anyways, there have been lots of good things going on since my last blog post. It’s hard for me to take the time to go over it now. But I will say this. Thank you to those of you who responded to the post before via one medium or another. I'm doing MUCH better. God showed me a lot this last week and confirmed it over this extended weekend.
But because of the time I'm gonna post some pics of my AAP Celebration outing.
Kaycee and Stephanie
Jena and Margarita
Jena, me and Tina (with Eric trying to sneak in looking oh so macho in the back)
Mike, Cindy, Eric and Mike #2 aka Tom
Jody, me and Mike
Me and my brother Brian
I love this pic! Mike, me and Keith lol
Sheri, me and Hector
Brian and Andie
Keith, Andie and Mike (look how short she looks next to them lol) waiting to go in for bowling
Mike and me at the bowling ally
The group that went bowling - Mike, Crystal, Andie, Sheri and Keith
Last night I finally went out for my AAP Certification Celebration. :) I had a blast! Of course, who wouldn't when the entire night is centered around their accomplishment! haha! Honestly I just figured it was a good excuse to go out with coworkers and enjoy them outside of the office. :) It was pretty awesome, but more about the night later.
On a fairly personal note, this week I went through a little patch of discouragement. Feeling farther from God then I've been in a long time, I felt like I was falling away and even worse, didn't care to fight to get back on track. I shared this with my mom, who was supportive and awesome as usual. It was tough.
I realize lately that my better friends aren't very good examples of what a Christ-like walk is, and the friends that are good examples I've pulled away from, tired of their seeming self-righteous judgments. Now, looking back, part of me wonders if they were self-righteous at all or was it just my own personal guilt that made me feel judged. I'm not sure.
I have a lot of non-Christian friends. Lately they have been the friends I lean on most. With that though, their perspectives are quite different then mine. Usually their views and beliefs don't impact me. But in a way, I felt like my perspective about right and wrong was being tainted (for lack of a better word).
But that being said, it was a non-Christian friend that helped me snap out of this desire to turn away from trying to walk the Christ-like walk. It was a simple statement which I'm not going to share but it changed my perspective from despair to encouragement. I had mentioned my lack of interest in doing what was right and wishing I could be fully selfish and live my own life following after things that aren't centered around God but around my desires. He stated more then asked the question of allowing myself to be influenced by my non-Christian friends. I have to admit that yes, sometimes I do let my friends influence me more then they should.
It wasn't until later on in the day that I noticed our chat had impacted my view of the situation. I no longer felt that the decision to turn around was so far off. And in fact, I think the decision was made as soon as we had the chat.
The thing is, I'm not perfect, I can't expect perfection. Yes, striving for perfection is all God asks of us. So, I'm striving. I will stumble. I will stop. I will sit down. I will wander. But I will always go back. Why? Because there is no question of what I believe. I love the Lord with all my heart. I want HIS will for my life, not my own.
Once the decision was made, I didn't feel like there was so much pressure to do the right thing. Interesting huh? Like I was so worried that my choices were impacting my very future that I was feeling overwhelmed and didn't want to have to make decisions. When I realized that no matter what, God would work things out for the good of those that love Him, then even if I stumble, stop, sit down, or wander it would always be worked out. Sure there may be consequences.
This song "The Worst Things Beautiful" by OURS just came on and it's quite fitting for this part of my post.
So I'll wake every moment, wake with the sun Were the worst things always the first things to come? Find a way to move on and a way to be strong Cause somethings do change, well somethings come and Made the worsts things beautiful
Wait... till the morning comes around Wait... for something beautiful Wait ...see if worry turns around Wait....please wait
So sometimes the worst things can be made into beautiful things. Enough venting... I think that's it for this post. :)
Finally an update! But not just any update... A gigantic update mostly of pictures! Those of you who have my myspace or facebook have seen most of these pictures. For those of you who do have my myspace and facebook, there are new ones towards the bottom. :)
Where oh where should I begin!? There's just too much and I have plenty of pictures to go with. Maybe I should just let the pictures tell the story.
11.2.08 : My CEO's wedding - Yeah that was back in November! I was really happy with how the pictures came out. I think I've determined I want an outdoor wedding. I love all the green in the pictures!
11.21.08 : Twilight Geeks - Yup I'm a huge fan of Twilight. So a few of my friends went to see the midnight showing of Twilight. :)
11.27.08 : Thanksgiving - I've explained my Thanksgiving on a post below so here are the pictures from that day.
11.29.08 : Brown Family Portrait - This is my second year taking pictures for the Brown family. :) They are a beautiful family so it's not hard to get great shots. But this is in their backyard! Talk about a beautiful view!
12.3-5.08 : My Vacation / Disneyland - I have a Worldmark Timeshare and decided since I didn't have a lot of cash I would go on a local vacation. I went to the resort in Anaheim for a couple of days and also went to Disneyland. One of my bestest's, Andie, came down and went to Disneyland with me. Then we met up with my friend Brandie with her daughter Lexi (first time to Disneyland) and her friend Kari. Good times at the Happiest Place on Earth. :)
12.6.08 : OURS @ the Roxy in Hollywood - So my friend Jimi got me hooked on the band OURS. The first time I saw them perform, a band called Plain Jane Automobile opened for them and the lead singer Duke was just an all around cool guy. He posed for a picture on stage and asked me to send it to him. So this show since I felt I knew him to some extent I sent him some of these pics and he liked them so much he posted a folder on the bands myspace giving me credit for the pics. :) That was so cool!
12.11.08 : Alliance Gift Exchange / Brunch - Because our traditional Christmas Potluck included significant others, Alliance decided to have a brunch the day before the potluck so we could do our gift exchange without the significant others feeling awkward about it.
12.12.08 : Alliance Potluck - We had to get a table for 23. Quite the interesting setup. It was quite relaxing to just sit around and enjoy lunch together. The department directors got up and said nice things about their departments. The CEO got up and talked about the company and was sweet enough to pick me out of the crowd and told everyone how much I've "blossomed" in the company. It was only slightly embarrassing, I felt pretty special actually.
12.13.08 : Gregory & Tawnay's Wedding - I took these pictures as a wedding gift for Tawnay. I was dissapointed in all the lighting and weather and tried to make the best of what I had. I didn't have an external flash which I think was the thing bugging me the most. Anyways, these are the ones I thought turned out ok flash and all.
12.13.08 : Poet Sky show in Pomona - Right after the wedding I was rushed down the hill to go watch my brothers gig... The first time Poet Sky performed since they have gotten back together. So of course we had to go to that! Heidi, Andie and I stopped by one of my favorite places, Wahoo's, for dinner. Then we met my brother and the band local bar near The Wire where the show was at.
12.14.08 : Free Hugs - In 2006 we did our first ever Free Hugs, click here to go to that post. We decided Christmas is the best time to do it so we went again. Sadly this year it didn't get as positive a response. We think it had to do with the cardboard signs and the shopping carts near us. lol People thought we were homeless or something. We'll know better for next year. But here are a couple pics of the troops.
12.16.08 : AAP Certification - It came in! So it's official! I can sign my name Charity Ring, AAP. lol I will say that it felt more fulfilling to have the unofficial pass then when I got the piece of paper. I guess because I had already gotten my promotion and raise. So it didn't change much having the piece of paper. But as my mom pointed out, if I didn't get certified then I would have felt it! I plan on going out with a few of my coworkers to celebrate. We had it planned for Wednesday but with the snow we have to put it off. And with the holidays I didn't want to stress out about figuring out a good day for everyone. So we're hoping to go karaoking January 9th or something. I think that would be fun! Here's a pic of my certification and the card everyone got for me when I passed the test, and you can sort of see the box with my pin in it. :) yay!
12.17.08 : Snow... LOTS of snow! - So it snowed on Monday in the pass and I wasn't able to get to work. But Wednesday I actually attempted it before finding out they just closed the Cajon Pass. Here are some pictures of our snow day! I've never seen this much snow come down in such a short time while living in California! Craziness!
12.19.08 : A random Friday - Like most Fridays, went to Wahoo's but this time Joshua joined Mike and I to celebrate me getting my certification (since Joshua would probably not be joining the group that goes out in January). But here are my two favorite guys at the office. :)
And that evening I met with David and Erin. Great friends of mine that I haven't hung out with since I started studying for my AAP. I got to meet their 6th and final little one, Matthew Elliott. He's such a sweetie.
Holy cow that's a lot of pictures! I'm sure it's more then most people care to check out in one sitting so I'm sorry about that. Hopefully you enjoy them. I'm off to decorate the house with the little that I plan on putting up for the Christmas season. It'll only be up for a week so I'm not doing much.
I'm thinking it's about time for an update. So much is going on as usual, which means I have no clue where to begin.
Thanksgiving - I'm waiting for my dough to set so I can bake the rest of my cookies. I'm making my very first turkey this Thanksgiving! My parents asked if we could do thanksgiving at my place since they are still getting settled into theirs. I told them no problem and this was as good a time as any to learn how to make a turkey. :) My dad is coming over tomorrow night to help me with the stuffing and prep work (which means I need to get stuff done tonight so it's ready for him tomorrow). He made me promise to have a batch of cookies waiting for him and only him. lol
Twilight - Ok so I have to come clean... I'm an addict. I can't get enough. I love Twilight. I love Edward (not necessarily Rob Pattison but the character). I couldn't wait for the movie. I went to the midnight showing and then again the next day for a friends birthday outing. I loved, loved, LOVED it! I thought the movie was awesome. They did a great job of keeping close to the book (though only a handful of my friends were dissapointed, most felt the same as me) it was an excellent representation of the book and I can't wait to see more! I hear they have the go ahead to make the next movie and I'm really excited! I plan on rereading the series. The books are excellent. I only hope Stephanie Meyer will change her mind about not finishing "Midnight Sun" (which is the first book from Edwards perspective). Yeah you could say I'm a fanatic, twilight geek, whatever. :)
Work - So I have yet to get my letter letting me know whether or not I'm a certified AAP. I'm supposed to hear by the end of the month so I'm trying to be patient in waiting. Work has been a bit hectic and crazy for me. Mostly in a good way. I've had a lot of added tasks, giving me something new and challenging which I've been enjoying. I am looking forward to getting it all organized and under control. But for now my days flash by me.
This last week has been full of emotional ups and downs. Granted, I am pmsing. But just lots of stuff going on in my life. I have a lot to consider in the coming months. I would share but it's getting late and I should get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long and busy day!
Anyways, the night has passed, my movie (Narnia) just ended, the cookies are packed away and I'm debating on whether to put the bread for the stuffing in the oven to dry out rather then on the counters.
I was just emailing my friend Matt and got some clarity to my mood. It might be tacky to post part of my email to him but it just came out right... "Anyways right now I'm struggling. Not sure what emotions I'm feeling. Tension. Moodiness. I'm a little pissy and I'm not sure why. I have no good reason to be. So I'm reading a book. Getting away from my thoughts. Avoiding reality. Maybe its post-passing-blues hehe I've spent so long studying that now I'm on the downer side of it all. Still haven't seen the raise, or the promotion so it's kind of like all that work for nothing. Hm..."
Tonight I couldn't do anything... Watching tv couldn't hold my interest. Myspace or Facebook couldn't hold my interest. The only thing that's made me smile is my book "Twilight". I've read the entire series but I'm trying to reread the first book before the movie comes out in a week and a half.
I will say that having my parents staying at my place hasn't been bad at all. I've been spoiled with good food. Though I hadn't realized how much I utilize my office. And as much as there have been minor inconveniences this whole experience has been pretty stress free. Tomorrow since I'm off my dad is going to help me put up some stuff. I unpacked a few of the pictures I kept in boxes. I'm looking forward to getting stuff up. They are officially moving out this Saturday. I will be glad to get life back to some form of a normal pattern.
Anyways, that's all for now... I'll give more of an update when I'm in a better mood.
Take a picture of yourself right now. Don't change your clothes. Don't fix your hair. Just take a picture. Post that picture with no editing. (Except maybe to get the image size down to something reasonable. Don't go posting an eight megapixel image.) Include these instructions.
It's Sunday and I really thought I was going to have a relaxing day ahead of me but I've been wrong. I've been on the go since this morning.
I was supposed to be at church at 9:15 and didn't get there till 9:45. I was in charge of the video overheads and Brandie was dedicating little Lexi and I of course took pictures of that! :) After church I planned on taking it easy but I had to get laundry done. Then my sister mentioned something about my nephews birthday party. There is a family one tomorrow but this was the one for him and his friends. I decided to go and take some pictures. It was kind of fun. :) It lasted a little longer then I expected so I decided to head home. On my way I got a call from my friend Leonard who I've been trying to meet up for dinner with him and his wife for the last couple of weeks. So they are taking me out for my birthday tonight.
The band is over so the house is quite loud. But I've cleaned up most of my room and have a pile of stuff to get through of all my AAP papers from the Vegas trip. Brandie is on her way over because Lexi left one of her favorite teething rings at church.
Brian also needs me to read through his paper. He's a bit nervous about it. He's struggled all weekend to focus enough to write it. He wants me to make sure its coherent.
Monday is Bailey's family birthday party. Wednesday I'm going to the Hollywood Bowl for a concert with Jimi. I'm looking forward to that.
So I'm gonna go stick my nose in a book for the hour and a half I have before I meet my friends for dinner...
Fender Bender - So I got into an accident this morning. Luckily the damage was minimal and to my car only. I met Mike at Starbucks this morning and was backing out. There was a delivery truck in my way so I was being careful to not back into it. Sadly this girl was on the side I wasn't watching as carefully. I barely bumped her but she was a total bitch about it. I guess she honked but I wasn't able to hear her because of my music. And honestly it wasn't that loud! But I felt horrible. I looked and her car was perfectly fine. I saw a slight scratch on mine but she said she could feel something fold so she checked her entire front end. She was exasperated! It ended up that my bumper got pushed out of place. I was totally shaky. She wasn't very nice about it even when she realized I had the only damage. I pulled back into my spot and Mike checked it out. He knew it was something he could push back into place. Mike agreed the lady was a little oddly pissed off considering I had the damage. I felt a little better but honestly this was the first accident I had gotten into in YEARS (I got into one a year or so after I got my license but it was the other guys fault) and this was the ONLY one that was my fault! I think that's what made it so hard to let go. I knew I looked from all angles before backing up but I was so cautious about that delivery truck and the idea that I couldn't hear her honking really bothered me. So it took me a few hours to let it go.
Anyways there's a lot to share! So I will probably just give quick updates.
My Birthday - My birthday was pretty awesome! On the actual day I was so surprised at how many people made an effort to wish me Happy Birthday. :) I felt totally special! I went to work and after work went to my parents for a special birthday dinner.
Saturday, September 6th BootieLA- I went out to dinner at Red Robin with my sister and Andie. Rachel sadly couldn't make it because she was sick... I mean REALLY sick. I felt so bad. And I was bummed she wouldn't be apart of my birthday celebrations like she has been pretty much since we became friends in Jr High. After dinner we drove down to pick up Russ and made our way to Echoplex for BootieLA. Yet again I had an absolute blast! I love that event! I will be going again soon!
AAP Conference in Vegas September 8th - 11th - This was my first business trip and I was oddly nervous about it. But it was actually A LOT of fun! We got to Vegas at about 5pm and my friend Debbie met up with us and we went to dinner. After dinner Debbie and I decided to go hang out and catch up.
Tuesday I was able to sleep in a little since my first class didn't start till noon. I was one of the only people in my class taking the AAP test this year and so the teacher called on me a lot. I was happy to say I knew all but one question he directly asked me. After the class they had a reception dinner. It was interesting to be able to talk to people who have taken the test. I felt more comfortable. After the reception dinner I called Debbie to come meet up with me again and we just hung out at the hotel. We ended up hanging out at Toby Keith's bar in the hotel. It was pretty rowdy and they had a band playing country music, and normally I would say that wasn't my thing, but I was highly entertained by it all.
Wednesday was my long day in classes. It was a lot of information but I was able to talk to more people about the AAP test during our breaks and in one session we broke into discussion groups and at lunch one of the people in my discussion group said I seemed knowledgeable! lol that made me feel pretty good. :) And the end of the day I just wanted to get out of there. My brain was fried. I went to dinner with Jody and my friend Armando met me at the hotel at about 9 and we went out to bowling and then to Freemont Street. He kept asking if I'd done different Vegas things, most of them I hadn't. He was bummed we hadn't been able to hang out before that night but that's how it worked out.
Thursday I was able to sleep in a little because my teleseminar didn't start until 10am. I had to be packed before the teleseminar because as soon as it was over we had to check out. We left Vegas and stopped off at State Line to grab some lunch. I didn't get home till about 5pm. But was thankful for all the information I got and also for the opportunity to go!
Photoshoot - So my friend James came up with this cool idea for a photoshoot. It wasn't the first time I had heard of the concept and thought it was a great idea for a photoshoot. Basically it's been said if you take a fluorescent light and stick it in the ground under power lines it will light up. There are a few different factors that we knew by the article James read. So we decided to test it. We met out in the Oak Hills area and we stopped at a spot and stuck a fluorescent light into the ground and sure enough it started to glow! We decided to try another place that's a little further out that James remembered off the 395. It seemed brighter and we made the choice to set up a photoshoot, but there are a lot of technical things we need to work out so I'm not sure how soon this will be happening.
I'm a little concerned about starting this post. Only because the time is so close to the time I wanted to be in bed. But as usual, my mind gets into writing mode in the later evenings as I contemplate my day, weekend or life. I've had a fantastic Labor Day weekend! Today has been especially lazy, I spent most of it reading! A rare treat! Even took my book outside and enjoyed the beautiful evening! I lost a few hours but it's something I thoroughly enjoy doing and don't get to often enough.
I'm a little annoyed with a chirping of a dying smoke detector battery and the ceilings are little too high for me to get on a chair and replace it easily. It might get unbearable here in a few.
So my birthday is this week. My license is about to expire so I have to get that taken care of. I hope my boss won't mind a late start on Wednesday as I'm figuring that's the best day to do it since my birthday is Thursday. And I plan on going to Barstow since it's so much easier to take care of out there then the Victorville DMV. My mom is making my favorite family dish, we've always called it Grout Brook but I don't know the spelling and when my friend James asked me for a link I couldn't find it anywhere! I know it's a German dish that has cabbage and beef baked inside a bread roll. It's yummy! But odd that I can't find it. I'm guessing either the name is wrong but no matter what combination I looked up in google it always brought me back to cabbage rolls which is not the same at all! Saturday a few of my friends are going to go to BootieLA with me. :) I'm looking forward to going again!
So I mentioned in my last post that I had another post pending. But right now I'm not really in the mood to go into it. So it'll have to wait, yet again.
I'm thrilled to be in my 30's! So far it's been an exhilarating experience and I keep looking forward to what’s going to happen next. I find that God is doing a work in me. It's been a while since I've shared personal feelings. Mostly it's just surface rants about my schedule and projects. Nothing about my innermost thoughts. I think there is a fear especially with my new readers, readers I'm not sure I can trust to hear my thoughts. Silly I know. I have this for the whole world to read, but when it comes to people I know I am not sure what I can feel free to share.
Either way, at church Sunday the message was very convicting to me. I think God's been working on me, and it was what I needed to hear at that moment. I'm not surprised, it happens quite often. But it's obvious that God's there, holding my hand and pulling me closer to Him. I've strayed so far away. I have so far to go to get back to where I even was, and even then so much further to go to get closer to God. But it's amazing the grace. The overwhelming forgiveness and acceptance and love of who I am right now! Something my dad said struck me as a new concept (for me anyways). We have our body, soul and spirit. Our spirit never sins. Our soul sins plenty. But when I feel unworthy to seek Gods presence sure, my soul is unworthy, but my spirit is sinless... I can go to Him and commune with Him. Another concept was grace and repentance. God's grace is abundant. He will accept us with open arms, even in the midst of our sin. We don't have to be out of our sin to go to Him. But true repentance is when we turn our back on the sin in our life. So, I have sin in my life. Not surprising I'm sure. Most of you know me. Most of you know I struggle to walk the good walk. I will say most of you don't know the true secrets deep within. The stuff I even try to hide from myself, and in turn think I'm hiding from God. Funny how we can think that we are actually hiding it from anyone, especially God. Sin is sin. There are levels of sin but does that matter? Can I truly make myself feel better by saying well at least I'm not doing that? That's then turning into judgment and honestly lately that's the biggest annoyance I have with Christians today. Placing judgment on others, why not pull that plank out first then you can see that speck more clearly, right? haha
I'm not upset, angry, disappointed or depressed about where I'm at. In fact I'm excited. I see the goal. I see a path. Something that seemed hidden from me, but I was so distracted with the lusts of the world that I couldn't see it. I recently ran into an old friend on myspace, in the process of looking at his profile and the people he had on his list... I envied his desire and drive for Christ. After all these years, he's still seeking God with all his heart. I don't meet too many men that are truly seeking God. It actually can be discouraging at times. It was a breath of fresh air and I realized I've fallen into that rut of walking a casual line in my walk with Christ. I've almost come to a stand still. I was looking at those men that make me feel I'm taking my Christian faith too seriously and thinking they might be right. I mean what’s so wrong with enjoying a little of the pleasures of life? (Sigh)... I was starting to take pride in the fact that I was a liberal Christian. Not as uptight about the rules. But the thing is, it's not about religiosity... It's about a genuine walk with Christ. That personal relationship. I get sidetracked.
Sunday before church I confessed a sin in my life. One that was impacting me on my way to church. I was ashamed, haunted by some of the thoughts creeping into my mind. I spoke it out loud, asked for forgiveness and the images disappeared, they weren't in the forefront of my mind anymore. Then I go into to church to find the sermon on grace and repentance and the difference. It was confirmed in my heart. I was forgiven. The question was, did I seek true repentance. Did I turn my back on my sin. Right now I'm not sure. I will say I feel different. I'm not going to say that the temptation won't pull me back in. But I no longer have to feel like I'm unworthy to seek God's help in the midst of my sin. I know most of this is a pretty standard "duh" but sometimes we need reminders.
Someone gave me a hard time about something I didn't think was that big of a deal. I got frustrated and defensive... Again pulling that liberal Christian card, and being angry that someone was being so uptight about my views and actions. I mentioned it to my brother and of all the people to convict me he said something that impacted me. He asked why I was so upset. He is the one that helped me realize that I was defensive more then justified. Whether I want to believe it or not, I was an example. He mentioned a few names of people that might have been impacted by my actions. And honestly I wasn't thinking about them. I was only thinking about the people that know me and don't look up to me. It was a hard pill to swallow but I did. My attitude changed. I can't keep acting like everyone else. God calls us to a different set of rules and guidelines. If I want to be part of that bride of Christ then I will go about my life differently then most people.
My dad recently went to Africa. He came back and as he told me the stories of his trip, my heart yearned to go back. Something about my trip to Africa changed me forever. They say you leave a part of your heart, and I believe I did. Hearing about Pastor Thomas and how amazing it is that my dad would have run into him in Kenya when he is from Lesotho and someone who made a big impact in my life on the trip I went to. I suddenly wished for a simpler life. Being in the United States we're spoiled. We worry about getting new bathroom fixtures and a better couch or even a cute outfit to go dancing in! When you have nothing it's easier to devote your life to Christ. To focus all your energy on His will for your life. Living moment by moment for Him. Having everything and wanting more is so much of a distraction. I long to go back to Africa. My heart wants to do good out there. Somehow, amazingly, God has established our little church out there. We've made an impact. And I'm excited to know that I was apart of it. And I want to continue to be apart. It looks like another trip is scheduled for 2010 and I'm signed up and praying that God opens the doors for me to go.
Some of this may not make sense. But I'm just pouring out my heart. There is a lot of little things I have only touched on. But like I said, I was afraid of starting this when I did since I need to get to sleep. I'm excited to see where God is taking me with all these little insights. There is so much more that I can be doing with my life then worrying about finances and an AAP exam (don't get me wrong I still plan on being frugal and studying my butt off but still).
I was up way too early for being up so late. I've been dealing with some annoying house issues. First was my tub not draining very well. I pulled apart what I would consider the most complicated tub stopper I've ever seen! Finally got to the drain and didn't have much to grab out. Made a makeshift snake to push down the drain and still nothing. I've tried Liquid Plummer and Drano but this was before I got the drain opened to pour it directly in. So I figure one more attempt at using Drano today and I throw in the towel.
The other issue was my laptop wasn't connecting to the internet and I did the complicated rebooting order my brother told me to do. Restart the computer. Shut down, pull the battery out for a minute, restart fully then shut down again. ?!?! Does this sound a little ridiculous to anyone else yet? Now mind you I understand sometimes computers are just that, a bunch of complicated seemingly unnecessary steps. But nothing was working and this was the 3rd day in a row. So finally I got the screwdriver out (lol not for the laptop!) and opened the little hidden electronic box in the closet. That was actually harder then it sounds! That sucker is on lockdown. Part of me wonders if that's why my brother came up with that complicated rebooting order. hehe Anyways I rebooted the wireless router and poof! I'm online on my laptop!
Last night I was wide awake. Too alert to go to sleep and not awake enough to accomplish anything worth while. I was in that zoning state. I knew I would regret my choice to have soda at dinner with my brother and Andie. My mind was going a million miles an hour. I thought I was in the perfect state of mind to write a blog or something but I attempted a short email and had a hard time focusing. I think I finally attempted to crawl into bed at 2:30am.
So today is my errand day for the weekend. I was hoping to be up at a good hour and get things accomplished. I'm up, my eyes popped open at 8 which should be fine but I have a headache and my tummy isn't feeling so good with last nights dinner. I'm not the ball of energy I was last night after leaving work. I think I was just thrilled about the concept of a three day weekend! hehe But I was determined! Last night was grand central for my cell phone from the moment I pulled into the garage at the house. Mike needed my help, Brandie was returning my call from earlier, Andie was calling to let me know she was on her way for our standing Friday night date hehe, Armando kept calling me so I could hear the Three Doors Down concert he was at, I had been text messaging Jerret back and forth for a little bit. And after work I made a goal, get Drano from Target on my way home, try to get the clog to clear and my bathroom was in desperate need of a scrub down. So I got the worst part done, I scrubbed the toilet and used the drano down the tub drain before Andie made it to my house. We took Mike to Home Depot for something he needed for his truck. After that we dropped him off and picked up my brother and made our way to dinner. Then Andie and I stayed up talking for a long while. She was my moral support when pulling apart the tub stopper and trying to deal with the annoying clog. hehe
Today I need to finish cleaning my bathroom and I really should do the kitchen as well. I need to go to the bank and pull out cash for the week. I don't like not having an ATM card. (I had an unauthorized transaction on my account and so I went to my bank and before I knew it he had told me I was getting a new atm card and told me to grab cash because my new atm card wouldn't be here for 7 - 10 business days. Ugh!) I also have to go help my brother with something when he gets back from an early trip to Huntington Park for work. Then my sis is doing my hair. And I have tentative plans to go to dinner with James and Lareen (but I know their schedules are tight and I haven't had any confirmations).
Sunday and Monday I have no major plans but to relax!
There is another blog on its way but I got to get my butt out of this house and get all my running done.
I'm sitting in my living room watching tv with my brother and we're both on our laptops writing. Today has been anything but a normal friday. I got to work early so I could go with my mom to pick up my dad from the airport. And today the merchant support department swapped offices with the IT Department. When the day was done I felt like I didn't accomplish much, like I was at work on a Saturday or something. It was odd. My pc wasn't cooperating with the move so I still don't have my desk fully set up. My mom got to my work and we made our way down to LAX. The trip didn't take long and I was glad to see my dad. He told us all about his trip to Africa and when we got back to my parents place he showed me his pictures and he got me this really cool purse/bag thing. He was tired and wanted to shower so I left fairly early and spent the evening hanging out with my brother.
Tomorrow my brother has warned me its going to be a long day. The band is coming up and he informs me that the drummer is also coming. Ugh! So tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. I was looking forward to hanging out and relaxing but the relaxing part probably won't be happening. Not sure what I'm going to end up doing.
Pet Peeve - Driving into work this morning I realized yet another pet peeve of the drivers out there in commuterville. If you have cruise control... freakin use it peoples! I get so disturbed by drivers that go a certain speed, usually slower then what I have my cruise control set to, so I move over and somehow they have this natural tendency to pace me (pace, not pass hehe). I understand this phenomenon but come on! It's even worse when I've taken a chance getting into the fast lane to pass someone and sure enough slow poke suddenly finds the gas peddle and I've got Mr Speed Racer on my tail wondering why in the hell I chose to go into the fast lane when obviously the guy I supposedly tried to pass was going a decent enough speed! lol Ok so this is clearly a bit of rant. But I can't help it! I commute 5 days a week! (And don't even get me started on driving the Cajon Pass on a weekend with a bunch of drivers that aren't familiar with the flow of traffic. hehe)
My tongue - So most people know that when I got my wisdom teeth pulled they permanently damaged some nerve endings and part of my tongue is always numb. I find that at certain times its worse then others like when I'm chewing gum. How odd huh? Or when I'm chewing on ice I find that not only does it make the numbness worse, I can barely enunciate words!
Anyways, this morning on my way into work I was also thinking about how they cut that little bit of skin that was attached under my tongue which made sticking out my tongue more then a centimeter near impossible for all those rebellious sibling moments when sticking your tongue out was as impacting as cussing at them! lol
Either way, after my wisdom teeth extraction I noticed that the flap of skin under my tongue looked snipped and my tongue was actually able to stick out further then it ever has in my entire life (2 whole centimeters!). Still the dentist office denies this was done for me and to be honest if they would have admitted it, I would have thanked them! It's always bugged me. Ok so seriously, is it tangent night or what? Going back to what I was thinking about on the way to work....
So sometimes I wonder if that little snip under the tongue made this new inability to talk once I've chewed on a bunch of ice. Then I thought, what if, what if they cut that little bit of skin further down so that my tongue can stick out like any normal persons? Would it have required relearning how to talk all together? Because sure enough after the teeth extraction and I went back to work I found that the basic calls where I utilized a script were harder for me for the first week… And if it's Friday after Wahoo's and I'm chomping on a bunch of ice from the soda I got with my meal, I seriously struggle to read that script even now!
Anyways, very random thoughts. But I thought entertaining enough to share. ;)
So I'm sitting with my laptop on my new (yard sale deal) futon in my office waiting for my pictures of the weekend to download on my desktop machine. I have a ton of pictures to post! This weekend I drove all over the place! I put over 400 miles on my car! But it's been a good weekend. But let’s do things in chronological order...
Written Friday 08/08/08
I know… I know... It's been a while. Life has kind of come at me fast and I'm trying really hard to organize my priorities and blogging is sadly low on the list. And so much has happened in the last month I'm not too sure what to really update. I seriously can't believe it's been this long since I've updated!
Vacations - With all the stress going on in my life this topic has crept into my daydreams a lot as of late. This morning on my way to work I thought about scheduling a vacation away by myself, maybe Solvang like I've been wanting to, just take pictures and get some quiet time. But that will have to be next year as the timeshare I have is booked up months and months in advance for Solvang. Though I can go just about anywhere with this timeshare I really think it would be nice to go somewhere unique. My work has told me I'm required to take at least a week off by the end of the year. And right now that sounds really nice but not possible till November.
AAP Examination - I've officially scheduled my AAP Exam for October 29th at 10am! I'm sooo nervous and excited at the same time. I'm concerned about my lack of time for study but I have found that things are starting to sink in. I'm remembering more and more. I do know that the entire month of October I'm going to be studying my butt off! No life for me till the test is OVER! Sorry friends... don't take it personal. I just have a goal!
Events - Ok so I just looked through my calendar and realized how many different events I went to and most I took pictures that I can post!
Edify's first show 6/28/08 - I took a ton of pictures so I'll make sure to go through and upload them. I was very proud of my boys! The band did very well!
OURS show with Jimi 6/29/08 - Jimi, a friend from myspace, had a spare ticket to see OURS down at the Glasshouse in Pomona. It was the first time we got to meet face to face. Jimi is a really cool guy! And he was first in line! Before we were allowed in Jimmy (the lead singer to OURS) came out and I was immediately impressed with how genuine he seemed. He was friendly and didn't seem like taking pictures with fans was a waste of his time. In fact, Jimi asked if I wanted a picture with Jimmy and I decided I did. I felt a little silly and even said sorry and Jimmy was like, there is no reason to say sorry and it may sound odd but he wasn't afraid to get close for the picture. I know some people that barely even let you stand next to them. He put his arm around me and smiled for the shot. And well he was definitely my type so that probably made liking him all that much easier! ;) I was impressed with him and hoped I would enjoy the music.
It was the first time I ever heard OURS. I was really glad I went! All the bands were pretty awesome! The show started a lot later then scheduled and we were wondering if it was because the turnout didn't seem that great. The first band was Plain Jane Automobile and they were great! (Jimi still has yet to send me some of their music from the cd he got while we were there :P) Duke was a really nice guy. He saw me taking pics at the show and asked me to make sure he got copies of them. One shot in particular is my favorite, him singing, looking down and pointing right at me. Though I hadn't quite got my camera settings adjusted for the low lighting I still think the shot turned out cool. The second band was God or Julie which wasn't particularly my style but I got a lot of great shots of the band. Then OURS came on. I was mesmerized within moments. I was very impressed and immediately a fan!
Go hereto see the video to my favorite song "God Only Wants You"! If you want to read Jimi's review of the show Go Here. Not sure how well that will work if you don't have myspace.
Here is my favorite pic of Duke from Plain Jane Automobile
Here is the pic Jimi took of me and Jimmy before the show
Here are some of my favorites of Jimmy from OURS
Movie Night @ church 7/2/08 - No pictures, but we got together to watch "Thou shalt laugh" and I got a kick out of it. A couple of the comedians were really funny!
Fun at the Park 7/13/08 - We all met for a picnic at the park. I had a great time and had lots of fun taking pictures! My boys, Eric and Jerret, were so sweet! If they were just a little older! ;) haha
Ladies pool party 7/19/08 - Again no pictures, mostly because a bunch of ladies, at a pool, usually don't like their pictures taken. I enjoyed myself though. I truly relaxed!
Game Night 8/1/08 - I dreaded going. I was tired, had a rough week at work but decided to make an appearance. I'm so glad I did! Ron from church made up a list of words based on books, plays/theater, movies, tv and songs that the two groups (my team and my sisters team) had to try to get through them as quickly as possible. The first team through the words won. My team was great! But we got stuck on "Avenue Q" and "Being For The Benefit of Mr Kite!" which NONE of my team had ever heard of before! lol We got 5 words behind but in the end we were behind by 1 word when my sisters team won. Sure we lost but we almost caught up! I was impressed with that! Anyways, it was a lot of fun!
BootieLA 8/2/08 - So my friend Russ was the one to introduce me to BootieLA last year when we spent the day driving around taking pictures. He had a Best of BootieLA cd, it was an awesome mix! From that point on I attempted to get down there and go with Russ at the first Saturday of every month. Attempted up until last weekend when I finally got to go! I met him at his place and we got there a little late. But I walked in and immediately wanted to get out on the dance floor! That's always a good sign of great music! I had a blast! I let loose! I had been having a rough day. In fact I had been having a rough couple of weeks. Getting out on that dance floor I let go of it all. It was very therapeutic and fun at the same time! It was exactly what I needed! I had a great time with my friend Russ, who sadly is moving to Montana next month. But I plan on going back down for my birthday next month!
Updated 8/10/08 -
Church Pool Party 8/9/08 - I went to the church pool party Saturday. It was relaxing. Michelle and I played pool which made me want to buy a pool table for our extra living room so bad! I haven't played pool in a while but it was fun! Michelle was a really good teacher, as it’s been a while since I've played I needed reminders of how certain shots would work. I won the first game and she thought I lied about not really remembering how to play. hehe Anyways, it was a good time. I didn't really get into the pool, I sat on the edge and put my feet in and that was about it. But it was nice to get some sun.
I didn't stay long because I needed to get home so Rachel and Tom could drop off the futon I bought from Rachel’s mom. I am really happy about it. So far I'm enjoying sitting indian style with my laptop (on my lap)... lol I really wanted a couch for my office but I wanted one that I could use as a spare bed if I had company. But I couldn't afford the one I wanted from IKEA just yet and this one was only 25.00! I couldn't pass it up! And it's in great shape!
Tupperware Party w/ Dixie Longate 8/9/08 - Darla at work invited us all to go to a Tupperware party. But not just *any* tupperware party… A tupperware party where the consultant is Dixie Longatea drag queen! I invited my friend Andie because I know she'd get a kick out of it. And it turns out this was Dixie's last show as he/she is taking her character to Broadway (I think)!
Anyways, Andie and I got down to Corona a tad late. Dixie looked just like she did in her pictures. It was awesome! I laughed the whole time! I got some great pictures and amazingly she did actually sell the product! Of course she was a bit more vulgar then I think any regular consultant would be able to get away with but I had a blast! And I got to hang out with Keith who I don't get to see nearly enough! :)
Meeting up with James 8/10/08 - So most of you may remember my friend James (Mopmonster) from Northern California. We've been friends for years and whenever he's in Southern California we try to meet up. So today after church I went down to his hotel in Burbank and from there we went to Santa Monica. We just walked the pier, talked about lots of stuff, had dinner at Wahoo's and then made our way back. We were both tired from our long weekends so we decided to call it a night and I was heading home before the sun went down. I am glad for this little bit of time to veg before going to bed.
Ok so hopefully it won't be another month before I update again! Night
Disappear On a day like this I want to crawl beneath a rock A million miles from the world, the noise, the commotion That never seems to stop
And on a day like this I want to run away from the routine Run away from the daily grind that can suck the life Right out of me I only know of one place I can run to
Chorus: I want to hide in You The Way, the Life, the Truth So I can disappear And love is all there is to see Coming out of me And You become clear As I disappear
I don't want to care about earthly things Be caught up in all the lies that trick my eyes They say it's all about me I'm so tired of it being about me¦
I would rather be cast away Separated from the human race If I don't bring You glory If I don't bring You glory If I don't bring You glory
Well I’ve had the stomach flu for the last few days. It was miserable! I’m rarely sick and this was an unusual sick for me. Either way I spent most of the day Monday in bed praying that the pain and nausea would go away. Today my stomach was cramping most of the day. I went to the doctors and they said it was the stomach flu and there really wasn’t anything they could prescribe and that I just had to let it run its course. So here I am, doing better then the last couple of days but still a bit queasy.
Anyways, I’m curious. Recently I’ve become aware that I care about certain people’s view of me more then others. I’m wondering how or what is it about these certain individuals that make me care so much? Why do they get placed on that pedestal? I know I’m a people pleaser through and through but this is different. This is an unhealthy need to feel accepted by these particular individuals. I am more sensitive to what they say to me, or how they talk about me. I have this one friend in particular who I‘m very sensitive with. I even thought to be honest with him and share how he makes me feel. Then something Jason (someone I placed on that pedestal for a time) said to me a few months back hit hard. He told me no one can *make* me feel anything. I choose to feel it. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like I have a choice… I need their approval. So why is it that the choice is given so freely to certain individuals? Why them? Why do I place such high value on what they think of me? It causes me not to be myself, to doubt. Yet I have so many other people out there that do value me, just as I am. They accept me, flaws and all.
Written 6/20
It's FRIGGIN hot!!!! I went out for my usual Friday Wahoo's lunch with Mike and literally felt like I hit a wall of heat! I checked just a moment ago and it was 107 degrees! Dang it! That's hot!
Anyways, aside from complaining about the heat my day has been pretty good! I'm thankful it's Friday.
Written 6/24
So I had hoped to have some pictures to post with this but alas it looks like that will again have to wait... Soon… I hope.
So I may regret this in the morning but I can't sleep. Unlike a friend of mine who just posted that he's tired but doesn't want to sleep. I'm the other way around. I should be sleeping but I'm wide awake, and if I'm honest I too *want* to stay awake. I just went to my friend Jonathan's blog and he posted lyrics to a Radiohead song. As I listened to the song (he posted a youtube video of it) wondering what the meaning of the song was, I became very contemplative.
My mind keeps jumping from thought to thought.
The friends that have come into my life.
A flirtatious moment with a guy I'm crushing on
A great conversation with an old friend that at one point I thought about writing off
This wonderfully amazing house that I live in!
Back to the Radiohead song and watching the live performance this afternoon and appreciating their talents.
Wishing my cell phone would let me know someone was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about them
The nerves I feel about this AAP Certification test I take in a few months
All the things I accomplished this weekend - Studying, unpacking, relaxing, talking/visiting with friends
Wondering if I stopped writing and shut myself down, would my mind follow suit?
For the first time in a long time I feel very hopeful. I wouldn't say I've been full of doubt but just kind of down, maybe a bit overwhelmed by it all. Wondering if I can get through the next few months and accomplish everything that I want to. I have felt so unproductive in my personal life since I moved into this new place. I get through a pile of boxes not to see any benefits to my work. Luckily this weekend in a few hours time I was able to finish the kitchen. It is awesome to have one room in the house completely done! I have gotten bits and pieces of the other rooms but I'm far from feeling settled. Then today my dad stopped by and put up a couple pieces in my bathroom which means as soon as I get a new shower curtain it too will be complete! I love this place. I can't wait to have a BBQ!
I shared something at church today and I want to share it here. Last Christmas I felt God laid it on my heart to give money to a friend in need. The dollar amount was specific (not odd, just very set). I really didn't have a lot of money but I couldn't shake the feeling that God wanted me to do it. This isn't a pat on my back but honestly as I sang worship today my heart was so filled with thanksgiving and amazement at all that God has done in my life.
Last Sunday my dad spoke on tithing. Not that the church needs your money but that God blesses your money when you convert it to kingdom money rather then worldly money. During this message the pieces of the puzzle fell into place about my giving back at Christmas time. Along with the message of what tithing is and what it does for your increase, my dad also mentioned that giving does the same thing. As I listened little by little it hit me that the exact amount I gave back at Christmas time has come back to me almost EVERY month since! Random side jobs. I got asked to do a webpage here, and better yet... take pictures there. Talk about blessings being returned exponentially! And it just keeps getting better. Work gave me a raise on Friday which, you guessed it, is that dollar amount. The side jobs haven't stopped coming in either. Someone liked the webpage I did earlier in the year and want me to do one for them, and also would like me to take their corporate pictures! It's awesome when you can see God's hand in your life.
Anyways, it's after midnight and I REALLY need to try to go to sleep. This post may seem scattered but honestly that’s how my brain is functioning right now.
So I’m taking a bit of a break from unpacking. Honestly I feel like I’ve accomplished A LOT! But when I look at how many boxes I have left I feel a little disappointed. The old place was so cluttered I’m doing my best to avoid clutter. I’m getting rid of things I don’t need. Rachel would be proud! I’m such a horrible pack rat it almost bugs me! I figure if it’s something I haven’t looked at in the 3 years I lived at the old place I *really* don’t need it! Though, I do have two chests full of things from my childhood that I do plan on keeping.
I also finally got my pc connected to the internet so I’ll be able to post all those pictures I’ve been excited to share! It seems so amazing that I’ve lived here since May 10th and am JUST now getting through the unpacking process. I’m so grateful that it’s a long weekend!
So now for a few pictures…
5/4/08 - The Three Musketeers – Out for Andie’s 30th!
Cute one of my two dearest friends! I love these girls!
5/9/08 - Out with the old! It’s such a sad looking yard.
A pretty flower picked for me near my old place so I wouldn’t feel left out when Tom and Brian brought back a bunch for their wives.
5/11/08 - In with the new! I love the new place! It’s awesome!
On my way to work after my first night in the new place
5/24/08 - So Rachel called me right when I pulled up at work and asked me if I would be interested in going to a Dodgers game that night. I’ve never been but have always wanted to so I said yes immediately!
Blurry shot of me and Rach snuggled up in the back seat
Me and Rach bundled up at the game
Brian (and me peeking into the shot hehe)
Brian, me and Rach (Tom and Jacob were there too but none of the pics of them turned out that well)
Me and Rach when the rain started to pour! They put the game on rain delay at the bottom of the 9th inning! Cardinals were up by 1 so we figured it wasn’t worth fighting the crowds. By the time we made it to the car the rain stopped but we were SOAKED!
More pics to come of the Steampunk Treehouse and Turtle's Wedding!
Moving - Well my mom and sister just left from helping me pack up my bedroom and bathroom. I have a lot of stuff! My back hurts and I'm definitely tired! I still have to pack up my desk. If I didn't have their help I'm not sure what I would have done. There are a lot of things I just want to put in my car and take over before the big moving day Saturday. My mom also came over last Saturday and we got the kitchen done so that's out of the way. My friend Andie helped me too. But by the time she got here I was already worn out so we only got my dvds and cds packed. Last week I slowly started a box or two in the evenings but at that rate I would have never been done in time.
Steampunk Tree House - I so don't feel I can give this story the full attention it deserves. It was quite an awesome trip! Sean was so cool. The tree house was even more impressive in person. The detail and creativity was truly inspiring. James and I had a blast taking pictures of every angle of the inside of the tree house. But that's all I'm gonna share for now... Moving has taken all my spare time in the evenings so I haven't had a chance to really get through all the pics. I can't wait to post them.
Five years ago today I posted my very first Blogger entry!
Friday, February 28, 2003
this is a test to see if this works
posted by Charity at 2/28/2003 02:18:00 PM
Wow... 5 years is a LONG time! A lot has happened in my life in the last 5 years. I've always been a person that writes in journals. I have kept all my journals throughout the years. I believe the earliest is when I was in 6th grade. I was encouraged to journal because as a child I had a hard time writing my thoughts out. What can I say? Ever since, I've been addicted to the therapeutic effect of expressing my thoughts. Why I chose to use a public medium 5 years ago is still a mystery. I've never been a very private person but I know a lot of people that just don't understand why I express myself for the world to see (and to even criticize). And I really don't have a good reason other then just enjoying expressing myself and sharing bits and pieces of my life for anyone to see. I still have a personal private journal I write in for those moments I just don't feel like sharing with the world.
Anyways, yay for blogging on Blogger for 5 years! Now back to work...
Being Creative - I've had a very creative week. I've spent most of my evenings working on graphics and logos for friends and family. I have a job updating (one of my brothers client's) Medeiros & Associates website to match their yellow pages ad. I helped Jason with a header graphic for his churches website and he also asked me to work on the logo for the place his girlfriend works since their current one was pretty outdated. Tonight Poet Sky was at my place practicing and Foe and I talked about me working on the bands "Our Alackaday Ways" album cover, possibly even adding some of my photography. I'm looking forward to it. I love Foe and Strav. They are like my extended family. Total cuties too!
Strav and Foe
Poet Sky - Strav, Foe and Brian
With all this graphic work it's made me motivated to get my own photography site up! I'm going to make it happen. It's felt good to get back into graphics. I forget how fun it is to see things come together from nothing. I'll make sure to link to my photography site when I get it updated.
So my last post about photography actually brought about some amazing stuff! Joel Eckman Maus read my blog! The best part is he said to let him know if I'd be interested in helping out at weddings!!! Um... YES!!! I'm so incredibly excited! I think it would be so amazing to watch him work. What better way to learn then to be an assistant to someone I admire and look up to!
Also along the same lines of creativity, Rachel and I went in together to make Brandie a diaper cake for her baby shower gift. Stephanie had showed me the idea at work and the moment I saw it I thought of doing it for Brandie's baby shower. It was a lot of fun to make and it got a lot of attention at the shower. It's a unique gift. Rachel and I have decided that from now on this will be our thing to bring for any baby shower we go to. Here are a couple pictures of it.
Before all the extras
After all the extras
Jaw troubles - My jaw on the left side is swollen and tender to the touch like it was Christmas Eve. Not sure if I ever explained what happened but Christmas Eve I went to work and my jaw hurt really bad and it was swollen so I thought I might have some kind of ear infection. I go to the doctor's and they tell me that it's not an ear infection and it must be that I'm clenching my jaw causing a form of TMJ, or grinding my teeth. I've never known myself to be a teeth grinder so the only thing I could think of is that I clench my jaw. My doctor said it is caused by stress. I think its a bit silly actually but I may very well be clenching my jaw without realizing it. Why only the one side? Anyways, just an annoying little tidbit I thought I’d share.
Random - I've been on a U2 kick. My brother got me the limited edition U2 iPod a couple Christmas's back. It came with the whole U2 collection. I've been listening to it on random almost every night this week and I'm still not through the whole thing!
This is a video I specifically looked up because of a conversation Joshua and I had at work. I figured I'd share since it's a great song and brings me back.
My friend James is in the process of putting out an album and played around with this little album cover meme. I thought it was interesting so I decided to make one myself. :)
4) Design your cover. Layout and presentation are up to you.
5) Post your cover, along with these instructions. In the comments your friends will tell you what kind of music you play and the name of the album's single.
